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What is Peaceful Parenting?

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You may have heard of Peaceful Parenting but might be feeling unsure as to what it actually means. What does it look like to be a peaceful parent? Is it really that different from any other style of parenting? Is it just another fad? All valid questions, so let’s dive in and explore…


What is Peaceful Parenting?

I would describe Peaceful Parenting as parenting with your child, rather than against them. It’s about cooperation and connection. Treating our children with kindness, love and affection, whilst setting appropriate boundaries. When we parent peacefully, we support our child through the ups and downs of life whilst giving them a solid foundation to be independent and capable as teenagers and adults. We don’t use punishments and rewards. We encourage our children to feel their emotions.
Don’t worry if you’re now worried that Peaceful Parenting sounds like a lot of work. Or if you’re wondering if it’s really worth it. I think that’s a perfectly natural reaction because Peaceful Parenting goes against how Western society tells us to raise our children. It’s something different and going against what everyone else seems to be doing can be hard. It might feel like an extra effort to start applying Peaceful Parenting principles with your family at first, it’s like learning anything new. But soon this way of parenting will become second nature and you won’t even think about it.

How is Peaceful Parenting Different?

It’s fair to say that the majority of us are raised in a more authoritarian style, to differing degrees. Many of us remember being shouted at as children when we misbehaved and then punished according the to severity of our misdeed. Some of us may have been hit, or grounded, or had items and privileges removed. Parents set the rules and children follow them. That’s how parenting has looked for a very long time. In more recent times, using time outs and rewards charts to ensure obedience have become quite popular.
Peaceful Parenting isn’t any of these things. It’s different because it recognises that our children are humans, with their own needs and feelings. That really doesn’t sound that radical does it? And yet it is! We don’t need to bribe children to behave with rewards and we don’t need to punish them either. Once we have our Peaceful Parenting techniques down, we don’t even need to shout. Can you imagine what your family would look like, right now, if no one needed to shout to be heard? For some families that’s unimaginable but with Peaceful Parenting it is possible.
Don’t be misled into thinking Peaceful Parenting is putting the children in charge either. This is the number one misconception I encounter! Of course we’d have a much easier time of it as parents, at least for a while, if we just let our children do whatever they like with no boundaries. In the long term though, this approach is just as harmful as being a strict disciplinarian. Our children need boundaries and they do need to hear “no”! Peaceful Parenting just changes how we approach this.
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Is Peaceful Parenting Just Another Fad?

Peaceful Parenting is an approach that has been around for decades, so it’s certainly not a fad. People are just now becoming more aware of these approaches largely thanks to social media. Also there are a growing number of parents who are seeking out an alternative to the way that they were parented. There are so many parents that don’t want to repeat the cycles of their own upbringing and are turning to a Peaceful Parenting approach.

How Can I Become A Peaceful Parent?

It’s so wonderful, for yourself and your family, that you’ve chosen this path. As with anything worth doing, sometimes it will feel hard and sometimes you’ll wonder why you’re bothering! Be realistic with your goals and know that your family life will not transform overnight. It’s like committing to an exercise programme; you have to put in the work to see the results that you want.
One of the first things that you can do is to sign up for my email newsletter. It’s completely free and I send out tips and articles to help you on your journey.
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You can also follow me on Instagram, Facebook or Pinterest for more advice and also to see how Peaceful Parenting shows up for me and my family.
This website will also be a great source of information for you. I’m adding new articles all of the time and some online courses will be coming in the future.
For those who want to bring about serious change in their parenting journey, I am available for 1:1 coaching via Zoom. Whilst there is immense value to be had in reading about Peaceful Parenting approaches, to be able to put them into context with your own family in mind will help you so much! You’ll be able to talk through any concerns that you have and I will be able to walk through through the steps that you need to take to achieve family harmony. It’s an investment in your family, and I am available for a free 15 minute consultation so that you can be sure it’s right for you.

Ready for change?

Contact me to find out how Peaceful Parenting coaching with me could change things in your family.

By Victoria Maus

Victoria Maus is parenting coach and writer from the UK based in Wellington, New Zealand. Victoria is a certified Peaceful Parent Instructor, qualified primary school teacher and former home-educator. She is married to Andy and mum to their two daughters.

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